Fat Golfers Upset Because The USGA Created A Fat Boy Threesome For The Opening Rounds Of The US Open

Kevin Stadler

Shane Lowry

Brendan De Jonge

(Source) The USGA has long been known for putting together interesting threesomes of players with similar traits or golfing résumés. There’s always been a “nice guy” group and a group of former Masters winners, for instance. But a 2014 pairing of 230-pound Brendon de Jonge, 225-pound Shane Lowry and 250-pound Kevin Stadler, aka the “heavyweights,” has led two of those golfers to say the USGA finally went too far.

“I think the USGA is a little mean and insensitive, but that’s just the way it goes,” Stadler told Jason Sobel of the Golf Channel. “They’re invoking their 5-year-old sense of humor.”

Lowry was equally displeased, calling it a “mockery.” He wrote in a weekly column in the Irish Times:

“To be honest, I am also annoyed about something. I don’t mind saying it, but I think it is a bit cheeky of the USGA in making the draw the way they did. I’m with Brendon de Jonge and Kevin Stadler for the first two rounds. Someone’s bright idea!! Put the three big guys together!! I think it is unfair on the three of us. It is definitely not drawn out of the hat, that’s for sure. And I just hope we don’t get stick from the galleries. What they did is making a mockery of the three of us. I spoke to Graeme McDowell, and he thinks I should say something to the USGA about it.”

Love this. And to be honest I kind of hate that Kevin Stadler and Shane Lowry are complaining. Dude, you’re fat, own it. Fat people that get upset when people treat them like fat people are the worst. You have to accept your fatness and not care, that’s how you handle obesity. Not crying and saying it’s mean spirited. Fat Boys 4 Life man, it’s a ride or die group. Yeah we’ll get made fun of and told you we suck and that we have floppy tits but that just makes us eat more which in turn makes us stronger and more diesel. So instead of crying why don’t you go out and win this tournament/get really bad swamp ass and take forever to walk the course. Complaining gets you nowhere.

h/t lawrence